I'm willing to bet my last Goldenberg Peanut Chew that you love comedian/writer Carol Leifer just as much as I do. Even if her name doesn't sound familiar, millions of Seinfeld fans can thank her for penning countless "I-laughed-so-hard-vino-shot-out-of-my-nose!" moments.

Carol recently tossed all animal products from her fridge—no more milk stolen from calves, no more eggs from miserable hens, and no more bacon from pigs gone crazy from confinement—and she sat down with PETA to film the following vegetarian testimonial (Before you watch it, I suggest you put that wine down, lest you spray Chardonnay all over your keyboard):

One of my favorite lines: "I recently became vegan because I felt that as a Jewish lesbian, I wasn't part of a small enough minority. So now I'm a Jewish lesbian vegan."

If that video wasn't enough hilarity for you, you can check out here and here for other versions of the video. Plus, we've got 10 copies of Carol's book—When You Lie About Your Age, The Terrorists Win: Reflections on Looking in the Mirror—to give away too. Win yours by letting us know, in the comments section below, the funniest thing you tell people when they ask why you went vegetarian.

The contest ends on July 23, 2009, and we'll choose the 10 most hilarious comments as the winners on July 24, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting. Good luck!

Written by Karin Bennett

Yesterday, crowds descended on Los Angeles' Staples Center to pay respects to the "King of Pop," but it was "Her Royal Hotness," PETA's Lettuce Lady, who stole the show outside Michael Jackson's memorial. Wearing only her signature lettuce bikini and a single, white sequined glove, Christina Cho held a mirror reading, "Go Vegetarian for the Man in the Mirror."

A line of reporters from local television stations and newswires, including Associated Press and Reuters, waited to talk to PETA's Lettuce Lady.

Her message was inspired by Michael Jackson's hit, "The Man in the Mirror," which pondered the impact of personal change:

What's the easy answer for those who want to make a difference in their health, animal suffering, the environment, and starving children like those featured in the song's video? Go vegetarian!

Our message was simple: Take a moment to reflect, and then "make that change."

Written by Karin Bennett

McDonald's corporate headquarters is located near Chicago, so ever since we launched our McCruelty Campaign, the city's residents have seen some pretty interesting demonstrations asking the company to stop abusing birds immediately. We've been keeping our latest stunt under wraps—but last night, two groups of stealthy crusaders were in the Windy City, projecting this pretty scary image on the façades of Chicago's buildings:

While everyone loves a good light show, I have a feeling that these antics didn't elicit any "oohs" or "ahs" from McDonald's executives. That's because our display definitely caught the attention of potential McDonald's customers who now know that chickens slaughtered for McDonald's "happy meals" are still conscious and able to feel pain—even though there are more humane slaughter methods available.

So, Chicagoans, keep the light on for us. Until McDonald's makes the decision to require its U.S. suppliers to switch to a less cruel slaughter method, we'll be in town.

Written by Liz Graffeo

Thanks for all of your wonderful comments on this Win It Wednesday. The winner of the Devoted Creations gift basket is nicole linklider. Congratulations!

For me, opening a package of cruelty-free body products is like Christmas, so imagine how giddy I was when I got a peek at this week's "Win It" Wednesday prize. PETA is partnering with compassionate company Devoted Creations to offer one giant gift basket full of body lotions, face creams, and tanning products. There are 15 full-size bottles in this basket, and while I'm tempted to keep them all for myself, we're sharing the wealth with one lucky commenter.

What's the best thing about this week's prize? None of the products have been tested on animals. They proudly display PETA's cruelty-free bunny logo, so your day at the spa won't be interrupted by pangs of guilt.

How do you win? Big event coming up? Kids stressing you out? Tell us why you deserve some pampering. The most convincing comment will take home the prize.

The contest ends on July 22, 2009, and we'll choose one comment as the winner on July 24, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting. Check back every Wednesday for new prizes. Good luck!

Written by Shawna Flavell

banbloodsports / CC

At a time when protests of the gruesome Running of the Bulls are making a bigger splash than ever, the sagging global economy is apparently taking a toll on the annual festival as well.

It turns out that bombed bull abusers are scaling back their bar tabs. This means fewer euros for merchants during this year's Running of the Bulls. In the past, these businesses have cashed in on the annual torment and killing of hapless, hopeless bulls. But this year, the global recession means that local businesses won't be making as much of a profit from the misery of the bulls.

Not only that, but according to NPR, polls show that most Spaniards have no interest in bullfighting. In Catalonia alone, nearly 200,000 people have signed a petition asking the regional parliament to ban this barbaric "ritual."

While this is hopefully the beginning of the end for an industry that should have died off with the Spanish Empire, you can save money and animals by doing more than simply tightening your belt. Sign up to take that belt—and the rest of your clothes—off altogether as a member of PETA's Action Team. It won't cost a dime, but the potential to raise awareness is priceless.

Written by Shawna Flavell

warkscol.wordpress / CC

The American Veterinary Medical Association's (AVMA) annual conference starts July 10 in Seattle. On the agenda is a pitch for the AVMA to change its current opposition to ear-cropping and tail-docking and give a thumbs-up to the painful procedures.

Say what?!

Our friends at NYCVet.org alerted us to a recent issue of the Journal of the AVMA, which revealed that the Utah Veterinary Medical Association (UVMA) wants the AVMA to reword its official position on ear-cropping and tail-docking. Instead of opposing these practices across the board, UVMA wants the AVMA to change its stance as follows:

Ear Cropping and Tail Docking of Dogs
The AVMA opposes ear cropping and tail docking of dogs when done solely for cosmetic purposes. Although cosmetic ear cropping and tail docking of dogs has little or no therapeutic basis, it is a procedure that is condoned by the American Kennel Club and by many members of society. It is imperative that the procedures be performed by trained, licensed, and caring veterinarians using current standard of care. The AVMA encourages the elimination of ear cropping and tail docking from in breed standards. Members of the AVMA will conform to all state mandates concerning the procedures.

Um, here's a newsflash—cruel ear-cropping and tail-docking have been banned in countries around the world because they are purely cosmetic, hurt like hell, and have no benefit whatsoever to the animal. We hope that the AVMA holds strong and doesn't decide to become even less caring about animals than it already is.

Written by Karin Bennett

For two days, the exhausted dairy cow had lain in the pasture, dying. Her eyes were missing, probably eaten by birds. A commuter passing by saw her and had been trying desperately to get help, with no luck. Eventually, this kind person, frantic to find help for the tormented animal, contacted PETA's after hours emergency hotline, and we were able to work with law enforcement officials, urging them to take immediate action.

It's hard to believe that this cow was still alive when help finally arrived, but it's much harder to imagine the tremendous anguish that she must have endured.

Our caseworkers stayed on the phone late into the night as deputies knocked on every door in the area, waking up residents in hopes of finding out who owned the property and the cow. After hours of searching, the man was finally located, and the deputies were mercifully able to put an end to the cow's suffering.

Unfortunately, this story is not unusual in the meat and dairy industry, where living beings are looked at as property and products. In fact, cows too sick to walk or stand are so common on factory farms and in slaughterhouses that there's a word for them: downers.

It's easy to look at cows in a field and think that they live idyllic lives, but they're commonly subjected to abuses that could warrant felony cruelty-to-animals charges if they were dogs or cats. Fortunately, though, it's so easy to opt out of contributing to their misery.

And I know that we just talked about this, but it bears repeating: If you see an animal who is suffering, report it to the authorities—and don't give up until they do something about it!

Written by Jeff Mackey

What do you get when you combine our favorite hockey player with one of our favorite faux-chicken sandwiches?

Hat trick! Georges Laraque was so impressed by a Canadian KFC's vegan sandwich, he ordered two more to go.

While there is one major animal offense that keeps Canada in the penalty box, KFCs in Canada offer an awesome vegan sandwich—and they are also making efforts to phase in controlled-atmosphere killing. Partner that with Georges Laraque's insatiable hunger for animal liberation and I'd say you have one of the sweetest assists Canada's seen in some time.

Written by Shawna Flavell

If our protest in the middle of New York City's Times Square wasn't enough anti-bullfighting action for ya, just wait until you see the pictures from this mother-of-all-protests in Pamplona, Spain, yesterday.

Two hundred "bloodied" and bare bodies from all over the world (I'm not exaggerating—we're talking U.K., Australia, America, Sweden, Spain, Denmark, Germany, Italy, Poland, Austria, Ukraine, Belgium, Norway … you get the idea) gathered outside the Pamplona mayor's office in protest of the horrible abuses that bulls suffer during Pamplona's nine-day festival of San Fermín.

Before the Running of the Bulls, workers use electric prods and sharp sticks to rile the bulls into a frenzy. Then, the bulls are often debilitated with tranquilizers and beaten before being taken into the bullfighting ring—where they are repeatedly speared with banderillas (barb-tipped wooden daggers) before being stabbed to death.

Help us put an end to this bloodbath.

Written by Shawna Flavell

PETA's reenactment of our "Fur Is Dead" public service announcement (PSA) stunned D.C. tourists last week. News crews from WRC-TV, Roll Call, and others caught all the action—giving new meaning to the term "beat reporting."

"Clubbed" on the head, stripped of her fur, and left for "dead." Ring any bells?

This will probably be the only time I ever call a human in fur "hot." It was nearly 80°F outside on the day of our event.

Thanks to all who made our action a smashing success!

Written by Karin Bennett