Dear Guys,

Wearing Axe's new leather-inspired "Instinct" fragrance will not get you mobbed by a horde of horny honeys swooning over the smell of cow hides.

There's nothing sexy about smelling like or sporting rotten animal skins. (And yes, we have sexpert Pamela Anderson backing us up here.)

To prove that point, PETA is creating a much more realistic, slaughterhouse-inspired leather scent:

Ah, the essence of blood, guts, urine, feces, and fear—all bottled up.

Believe us, if you show up for a date wearing "Instinct," leather, or even our own "Eau D' Abattoir," our first instinct will be to slam the door in your face.

Our advice? Pleather yourself, pronto.

Love,

The girls from PETA

This week, the folks at Unilever—the parent company for Axe Body Spray—learned the hard way that you can't perform nasty animal experiments for your product and have Pamela Anderson star in your ad campaigns. It's really one of those “one or the other” situations—both is just greedy. And, of course, it's worth mentioning that maiming and killing animals when you trawl out a new product is a singularly unpleasant way of carrying on in the first place.

Anyway, here's the letter that the wonderful Pamela wrote to Unilever asking them to get their heads out of their … um, out of the sand, and move their testing policy into the 21st century. Pamela, I know I've said this before, but I love you.

P.S. Click here for the full list of PETA—and Pam—approved companies that don’t test on animals.