Introducing 'McDonald's Mayhem'?

funpeak / CC

Perez Hilton reported Monday that an Ohio woman got into a flap when she was told that McDonald's was out of McNuggets—and was apparently arrested after she punched out the drive-thru window. This altercrazion* is just the latest in a recent rash of fights, stabbings, and shootings that have taken place at various McDonald's restaurants across the country.

We know that a diet full of meat and dairy foods can make people limp, lumpy, and, er, well, dumb. And we know that McDonald's, aka McCruelty's, hideous treatment of animals makes caring people mad. But dare I say that a McDonald's-heavy diet may make people violent? Ladies and gentlemen, consider the following:

• Police in Kansas City, Missouri, are looking for a woman who reportedly threw a bucket of water over a McDonald's counter and pushed over a glass display case and three cash registers after she was told that she couldn't have her money back.
• A man in Massachusetts reportedly climbed through a drive-thru window and attacked the employees with a box cutter.
• An impatient Denver cop apparently flipped his McMuffin and pulled a gun on a drive-thru employee.
• A Naples, Florida, man went to McDonalds for a double fish sandwich—but ran into double trouble and was stabbed seven times.
• Apparently a threesome in Utah reeeally wanted their Big Macs—so much so that one of them reportedly blasted his sawed-off shotgun at the drive-thru after learning that the menu was breakfast-only.
• A North Carolina man apparently tried to cut in line by stabbing another McDonald's customer.

On the flip side, I don't recall ever having read about vegans duking it out for flesh-free Southern Fried Drumsticks at Brooklyn's Foodswings or getting into nunchuck battles over mock chicken fingers at Venice Beach's Good Karma (although I'll admit that my husband and I once thumb wrestled for the last bite of "meat loaf" at The Chicago Diner—I won, BTW).

McDonald's fast-food fights are so common that I'm thinking about suggesting that the PETA Files introduce a new semi-regular feature called "McDonald's Mayhem"—that is, unless you can think of a better title for it?

Written by Karin Bennett

*"Altercation" + "crazy" = "altercrazion."