Written by PETA
There’s a new headstone in one of the plots adjoining Colonel Sanders’ grave in Louisville’s Cave Hill Cemetery. It’s inscribed with what our press release is calling a “moving tribute” to a "Kind Friend of Chickens." I’ll refrain from commenting on the literary merits of the poem itself, but the fact that the bright red letters running down the left side of the poem spell "KFC Tortures Birds" is a piece of undeniable genius on the part of my friend Matt Prescott, who spearheads PETA’s Kentucky Fried Cruelty Campaign, and whose name is on the headstone. In addition to ensuring that when Matt’s time eventually comes, he’ll have a prime piece of real estate waiting for him in Louisville, this has garnered us some great coverage for our KFC Campaign, including a story in US News and World Report today.
Here’s what Matt had to say about the whole thing, and you can see a photo of the tombstone below:
"This headstone will remind visitors that KFC stands for cruelty and death. We'll continue to pressure KFC executives to stop these grotesque abuses of billions of chickens—no matter how long it takes."
His Name was Harlan Sanders. He was a great man who was raised by common working parents, who died young.
In 1930, the then 40-year-old Sanders was operating a service station in Corbin, Kentucky, and it was there that he began cooking for hungry travelers who stopped in for gas. He didn't have a restaurant yet, so patrons ate from his own dining table in the station's humble living quarters. It was then that he invented what's called "home meal replacement" - selling complete meals to busy, time-strapped families. He called it, "Sunday Dinner, Seven Days a Week."
As Sanders' fame grew, Governor Ruby of Kentucky made him a Kentucky Colonel in 1935 in recognition of his contributions to the state's cuisine. Within four years, his establishment was listed in Duncan Hines' "Adventures in Good Eating."
As more people started coming strictly for the food, he moved across the street to increase his capacity. Over the next decade, he perfected his secret blend of 11 herbs and spices and the basic cooking technique that is still used today.
In 1955, confident of the quality of his fried chicken, the Colonel devoted himself to developing his chicken franchising business. Less than 10 years later, Sanders had more than 600 KFC franchises in the U.S. and Canada, and in 1964 he sold his interest in the U.S. company for $2 million to a group of investors including John Y. Brown Jr. (who later became governor of Kentucky).
He sold his interest in 1964! This was a man to be admired. Don't get crazy with this hating thing. That humble man would roll over in his grave if he knew what these cut-throat corporate vampires have done to besmirch his good name.
We're living in the end-times. When human beings defy God's command to say grace and be thankful for the good food God has graced us with to eat, and we're not suffering from plague or famine...
But its the same vampires that want you to believe you decended from apes, and before that crawled up out of the sea. I think you kind of look like that fish with the underbite; but not me baby: I'm a child of the universe, and I'm taking that flight outta here to MARS that's leaving EARTH in 2019. I'm leaving this whole stinking mess to you! Later.
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